By Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter

July 29, 2024

Receiving an autism diagnosis for your child can feel overwhelming, but it's also the beginning of a journey filled with hope, learning, and growth. As a parent, you may experience a whirlwind of emotions, from confusion and fear to relief and determination. Understanding how to navigate this new path will be filled with challenges but will eventually help you to provide the best support for your child and family. Here’s a compassionate guide to help you through this journey.

1. Allow Yourself to Process Your Emotions
It’s natural to feel a range of emotions upon receiving an autism diagnosis. It is important to give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the "expected" path for your child and then start to embrace this new reality. Talking to a counselor or joining a support group can be invaluable during this time.

2. Educate Yourself About Autism
Knowledge is power. Educate yourself about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) by reading reputable sources, attending workshops, speaking with professionals, and listening to others who have been diagnosed with ASD. Understanding the spectrum and recognizing that each child with autism is unique will help you better support your child.

3. Build a Support Network
Connecting with other parents who have navigated an autism diagnosis can provide emotional support and practical advice. Look for local or online support groups, forums, Family Peer Supporters, and social media communities. Networking with professionals like pediatricians, therapists, and special education teachers can also provide guidance and resources.

4. Create a Comprehensive Plan
Work with professionals to develop an individualized plan for your child. This might include therapies, educational strategies, and interventions tailored to your child's needs. Be proactive in setting up evaluations and seeking out specialists to address areas like speech, occupational, and behavioral therapy.

5. Advocate for Your Child
Be prepared to advocate for your child in various settings, including school, therapy sessions, and medical appointments. Understand your child’s rights and work with educators and therapists to ensure they receive the appropriate accommodation and support.

6. Focus on Strengths and Interests
While addressing challenges is important, don’t forget to celebrate and nurture your child’s strengths and interests. Encourage activities that they enjoy and excel in, as these can boost their self-esteem and provide meaningful outlets for expression.

7. Promote a Positive Home Environment
Create a supportive and understanding home environment. Use clear communication, establish routines, and offer plenty of positive reinforcement. This helps your child feel secure and can reduce anxiety and behavioral challenges.

8. Practice Self-Care
Caring for a child with autism can be demanding. Don’t neglect your well-being. Make time for activities that rejuvenate you, seek respite care when needed, and lean on your support network. Taking care of yourself ensures you’re better equipped to support your child.

9. Stay Flexible and Patient
The journey with autism is unique for each family. Be prepared for trial and error as you find what works best for your child. Flexibility and patience are crucial, as progress may come in small, incremental steps.

10. Celebrate Milestones
Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Each milestone is a testament to their hard work and growth, and recognizing these moments reinforces positive behavior and motivation.

Navigating an autism diagnosis as a parent is a journey filled with challenges and triumphs. By educating yourself, building a support network, advocating for your child, and focusing on their strengths, you can provide a nurturing and empowering environment for your child. Remember, you are not alone on this path, and with patience, resilience, and love, you can help your child thrive.
To find more information about navigating a diagnosis as a parent or caregiver, check out https://mtpeernetwork.talentlms.com. Soon you will find many training’s built by parents and caregivers based on their own lived experiences.

(Written by Kayla Myers and ChatGPT was used to build an outline)

by Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter

April 23, 2024

Forgiveness should be a journey, not a destination. What I mean by that is, whether we need to forgive ourselves, friends/family, or people who have wronged us in our lives, that can be a very difficult task. That physical pain we felt, the emotional toll we went through, and the way our bodies grasped those feelings and held onto them tight, can feel like something you will truly never get over. The old saying goes, “Time heals everything.” Well, it sure doesn’t. The reason I say this is because over time, life keeps throwing us curveballs, or as experts, unlike myself like to call it, trauma. It starts stacking inside of us and piling up like deskwork in our brains. When this happens, we are walking through life with unresolved hurt inside of us, and then turn around and project it onto others. So, the very things that hurt us in the beginning, we are now doing those same things to the ones we love, friends, our children, etc.

Counseling, self-reflection, trauma work, EMDR, and a self-wellness plan have been the steps that made a difference for me. Looking back on my journey with therapy, it does make me cringe a little. I was the patient for a long time who talked about the same things repeatedly, but in different forms and with different examples. I attended talk therapy on and off for about five years. While I went every week, to every session, I felt like I was getting nowhere. I was frustrated with myself. I remember vividly thinking, “I am putting in the work on myself and I still feel so stuck and lost.” I had a shift in me one day and knew I needed to get real with myself and dive as deep as I could, so I would move into the brighter days of my life story.

Everyone’s journey is different, so keep this in mind. Any effort we put into improving our overall mental health is going to make you a more forgiving person and add wellness to your life. I have learned so much about myself and been able to forgive the hurt others have caused me, that I never thought I could. I found that where forgiveness was given, whether it’s internally or externally, that’s when my healing truly began. When you can feel yourself not reacting in self-destructive ways, as a response to the doings of others, you start to feel and see the differences in yourself, and the way others perceive you. While navigating the world of forgiveness, it is also important to offer yourself an immense amount of grace. I must constantly remind myself, “I am doing the best job I know how. And if I don’t get it right, I will learn from it and not hang onto it for dear life.” At the end of the day, we are only in charge of ourselves, right? No one else is going to come save us, I mean they can try, but we aren’t learning any lesson in being saved. Self-work comes within and owning the parts I played in the situations that hurt me deeply was my ticket to the start of freedom. I had to remember what my core values were before life happened.  I had to reflect and forgive myself for abandoning myself for so long.

When we start to process, reflect, self-reflect, and forgive, we set an example and all we can do is hope others see the positive changes. In return, your resilience will radiate onto others and hopefully, it can inspire others to do the same. Offering forgiveness after hurt is heroic, takes strength, and gives us our power back. Forgiveness should be a journey, and offering ourselves grace while doing so, that’s the destination.

by Erin Faulkner, Family Peer Supporter

November 28, 2023

On December 2, 1975, President Ford signed the Education for all Handicapped Children Act (EHA), which ensures that all children with an identified disability receive special education and related services to address their individual needs.  In 1990, EHA became the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

In honor of National Special Education Day on December 2nd, I am sharing my personal story in the hopes of dispelling stereotypes of what Special Education services means for students now and for their future.  Growing up, and even 18 years ago when my daughter started receiving special education services, I would hear terms like “short bus” or “sped kids” which referred to students who received special education services or had an Individualized Education Plan (IEP).  Though I don’t hear these terms as much today, I know they still exist and the negative attitude towards these students still exists.

Growing up was difficult for me as I am hard-of-hearing and wear hearing aids.  For that reason and because of my poor eyesight, I always needed to sit in the front row.  For a few years in high school, I even used an FM system, which allowed me to hear the teacher directly into my hearing aids.  As far as I know, I never actually had an IEP, even though they had been introduced in 1975.  It was difficult as I had to advocate for all my needs without an official meeting or support other than my mother.  Every class, I had to tell my teachers that I needed to be in the front row.  I remember a teacher I had Freshman year and then again as a Senior.  I reminded her that I needed to sit in the front row the first class of my Senior year.  She put me all the way to the right and three rows back.  It took me a month to work up the nerve to tell her I couldn’t see or hear well enough from there.  I know that I wouldn’t have needed an IEP as my academics were good, but I believe a 504 plan, which outlines accommodations, would have been helpful.

My daughter’s story is different and far more positive.  Sam is also hard-of-hearing and wears glasses.  We happen to live in Great Falls where the Montana School for the Deaf and Blind (MSDB) is located.  Sam was able to start going to school there at 18 months old.  She had an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) through Part C services until she was 3 at which time she got her first IEP.  Though Sam’s academics were strong, she had some language delays for a few years and received speech therapy to work on auditory training, voice volume and some articulation errors.  When she started attending public school in 1^st grade, she also had an interpreter for signed support.  Sam continued with these services for the next few years.  She was mainstreamed fully in 3^rd grade.  In fifth grade, it was determined that she used her residual hearing to access language and communication, so the interpreter was no longer needed.   She had also graduated from speech therapy.  With these services no longer needed, Sam was no longer eligible for an IEP, even though she met the diagnosing criteria.  She was switched to a 504 plan, which outlined the accommodations that the schools needed to provide for her.  In her case, these were primarily related to making sure she had access to auditory and visual information.  Preferred seating to see the teacher and writing on boards was her primary accommodation.  My daughter, who received special education related services from preschool through 12^th grade, graduated with honors from high school and will be graduating with honors in Chemical Engineering this spring.  She still has a 504 plan, which she utilizes as necessary.

My point of this story is that there are different degrees of “special education”.  Every students’ plan and needs are individualized with the hope of giving them what they need to be successful at whatever level they can be.  For some, it is attending different schools that can meet their needs, such as MSDB or an alternative school that is better able to individualize learning for each student.  Students who were in special education classes or received resource services can still be successful adults, go to college or trade schools, and/or become hard-working employees.  The stigma that these services have for some parents, unfortunately, leaves some students not able to access their education or causes them to get behind and makes it harder to catch up.  Special education services start young in what is called early intervention services.  Studies show that the earlier children access help, the better their chances of not needing individualized support later.

I applaud all of the teachers and specialists who provide their expertise to students who require extra supports to access their curriculums, communication and social relationships.

For more information about special education services in Montana, check out the Montana Empowerment Center’s website.  They have tip sheets, handbooks and webinars on IDEA, IEPs and 504 plans, as well as providing one-on-one support to families.