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Edited by Andi Daniel

December 31, 2024

Reflecting on mental health accomplishments can be an empowering and enlightening exercise. It not only allows you to see how far you’ve come but also provides motivation for continued growth. Here’s a guide to help you recognize and celebrate your mental health milestones over the last year and set a positive tone for the future.

Recognize Your Progress

One of the most significant steps in acknowledging your mental health accomplishments is to recognize your progress, no matter how small. Mental health improvement is not always linear, and even minor victories deserve celebration. Consider these areas of progress:

• • • Overcoming Challenges: Think about obstacles you faced this year. Did you navigate a difficult situation or cope with stress more effectively than before?
    • Improved Coping Mechanisms: Have you developed healthier ways to deal with anxiety, sadness, or anger? For instance, practicing mindfulness, journaling, or reaching out to a trusted friend instead of bottling up emotions.
    • Breaking Patterns: Reflect on whether you’ve identified and interrupted negative thought patterns or behaviors. These shifts indicate significant growth.

Reflect on Your Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience is your ability to bounce back from adversity. Over the past year, think about how you’ve demonstrated resilience. Ask yourself:

• • • Did you recover from setbacks more quickly than in previous years?
    • Were you able to maintain hope or optimism in challenging situations?
    • Have you become better at self-soothing or seeking support when needed?

Recognizing these moments can help you appreciate your strength and adaptability.

Evaluate Your Relationships

Healthy relationships play a crucial role in mental well-being. Reflect on the quality and depth of your connections:

• • • Improved Communication: Have you become more open and honest in expressing your needs, feelings, or boundaries?
    • Strengthened Connections: Did you nurture or deepen relationships that matter to you?
    • Letting Go: Have you distanced yourself from toxic relationships or those that no longer serve your well-being?

These changes can signify a major step forward in prioritizing your mental health.

Acknowledge Your Self-Care Habits

Self-care is a cornerstone of mental health. Over the last year, think about how you’ve incorporated self-care into your life:

• • • Routine Practices: Are you regularly engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, or energy, such as exercising, reading, or meditating?
    • Physical Health Improvements: Have you made strides in nutrition, sleep, or physical activity? These are foundational to mental well-being.
    • Time Management: Have you become better at balancing work, personal life, and downtime?

Even small adjustments in these areas can have a profound impact on your mental health.

Celebrate Your Boundaries

Setting and maintaining boundaries is a powerful mental health accomplishment. Consider these questions:

• • • Have you become more comfortable saying “no” when needed?
    • Are you protecting your time and energy from overcommitment or negativity?
    • Have you communicated your boundaries more effectively to others?

Recognizing and enforcing boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-care.

Reflect on Personal Growth

Personal growth often accompanies mental health achievements. Think about:

• • • Learning Opportunities: Did you acquire new skills, knowledge, or hobbies that boosted your confidence or happiness?
    • Overcoming Fears: Have you faced a fear or stepped out of your comfort zone?
    • Personal Values: Did you gain clarity about what truly matters to you and align your actions with those values?

These developments contribute to a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Note Your Emotional Awareness

Emotional awareness is a key component of mental health. Over the last year, have you:

• • • Become more aware of your triggers and how to manage them?
    • Identified and labeled your emotions more accurately?
    • Learned to accept your feelings without judgment?

These skills can enhance your overall emotional intelligence and well-being.

Highlight Your Support Systems

Recognize the role of support systems in your journey:

• • • Have you sought professional help, such as therapy or counseling, and found it beneficial?
    • Did you lean on friends, family, or support groups during tough times?
    • Have you expanded your network of support, creating a stronger safety net for future challenges?

Building and utilizing support systems is a testament to your strength and resourcefulness.

Practice Gratitude for Your Achievements

Gratitude can amplify your sense of accomplishment. Take a moment to appreciate:

• • • The progress you’ve made, even if it feels incomplete.
    • The resources, opportunities, and people who’ve supported you.
    • The resilience and determination you’ve shown.

Writing down your gratitude or sharing it with someone can deepen its impact.

Set Intentions for the Future

After reflecting on your accomplishments, consider how you’d like to build on them in the coming year:

• • • Specific Goals: Identify areas where you’d like to continue growing, such as developing healthier habits or deepening relationships.
    • Learning Opportunities: Explore books, courses, or practices that can support your mental health journey.
    • Self-Compassion: Commit to being kind to yourself, even when progress feels slow.

Setting realistic and meaningful intentions can provide direction and motivation.

Recognizing your mental health accomplishments is a powerful way to celebrate your journey and inspire continued growth. By reflecting on your progress, resilience, relationships, self-care, and emotional awareness, you can see how far you’ve come. Remember, every step forward—no matter how small—is an achievement worth celebrating. As you move into the next year, carry the lessons and strengths you’ve gained, and continue nurturing your well-being with intention and care.

by Nikki Russell, CBHPSS

April 6, 2024

What does self-care look like? What does self-care feel like?

I was a new manager in a clothing retail store in the corporate world. In the beginning, I worked 50-60 hours a week. I managed 12-15 employees at any given time with scheduling, crunching numbers, training, and orientations. I sat in my office, dreaming of a way to excuse myself and walk away from the rat race. The job represented how I lived until then, sacrificing my vitality for security. I would leave work daily, pick up my daughter, and stop for my self-care, a bottle or two of wine. I would go home and pour myself a mind-numbing glass of Cabernet, help my daughter with her homework, and put her to bed. I would pass out around midnight, wake up the following day, and start the cycle again. Alcohol and that corporate job functioned just enough to cover my bases. Society told me that my life was pretty good for a girl like me: divorced, single mother, uneducated, and emotionally unstable. I listened to the external world and survived on validation. I wondered why I didn't feel it if I was supposed to be happy. Alcohol kept my emotions in check, and my corporate job gave me a paycheck while both robbed me of my spirit. I had to get so uncomfortable that I became spiritually bankrupt; I needed a do-over, a complete life rehaul. Recovery would save my life.

The root cause of my instability was a disconnect from myself. I was not responsible for my life; I blamed most of my adverse circumstances on my dad's abandonment. One of my first realizations was that my dad abandoned me 35 years ago. Yet, I held him accountable for my current circumstances. At that moment, I recognized that I had done the same thing he had done, abandoning myself because of childhood trauma. In an instant, I went from outward-facing to inward-facing, beginning my journey home to me. The journey home to my heart is how I define self-care. I learned about things I enjoyed, found new ways to cope and soothe myself, and bonded with my daughter, all-encompassing the healing journey called recovery. The recovery journey looks a lot different than the corporate ladder. While many people were proud of my previous accomplishments, they struggled to understand the introverted and sober girl I had become. It did not concern me most respectfully, for I was on a mission to heal my life. Self-care can be a gritty process because it busts through outdated patterns and creatively builds a new process. In the beginning, self-care felt selfish until I recognized that I had no tension in my body when I aligned with the creative process.

Elizabeth Gilbert speaks about the creative process, which is like a circle. It drops into us from outside ourselves and connects to a person open to it. She explains that half of the process is creative expression, such as writing, drawing, or painting. The other half of the process is sharing your creativity and completing the circle (Book: Big Magic). To be human is to be creative. All things before they are manifested in the world are thoughts; this is the gift of being alive. Self-care is using this life to express yourself as you are. Not for the world to judge, though they may, or for the world to grade excellent or bad, and they will, and not for the world to validate, but for you to dance to the beat of your own drum as if nobody is watching, and somebody usually is. Wayne Dyer said, "Don't die with your music still in you," meaning do not create anybody else's art but your own. Self-care is expressing your true self regardless of what the world thinks. As a little girl, I lived in an apartment building with a big stone-covered entryway. I would blast music from my boom box and use a microphone to sing my heart out to Cyndie Lauper. I did not care that I could not sing or dance or that the microphone was my hand; I was ME, expressing myself the only way I knew. I only stopped doing this after somebody told me I couldn't sing and I couldn't dance. Until then, it was art. After that, it was dysfunction. I resigned to appropriate behavior, sitting out the dance and lip singing. Some years later, I began using substances to cope with the tension caused by my inability to express my emotions. Emotions inspire a creative life; pent-up emotions create blocked tension, and reclaiming your life through self-care unblocks them, allowing them to be seen, heard, and felt.

Creating your life through self-care can look like anything you choose to make. It can be expressed through your clothes, hair, and makeup. It can be cooking yourself and your family a healthy meal and presenting it in a way that shows how much you care. It can be taking time for yourself through meditation, prayer, journaling, and reading. It can be walking in nature, taking time to smell a flower, or lifting weights at the gym. It can be coloring, painting, sculpting, drawing, or sewing. Lighting candles, listening to Mozart, breathing slowly, or humming a song. It can be speaking your truth when the world is not ready to hear it, advocating for someone who went through what you went through as a kid, or crying. It can look like all those things and so much more. But what is most important is how it feels because it is not about what you do but how you BE. Authenticity, fun, truth, alignment, connection, silly, courageous, and gritty are all feeling words that let me know I am dancing my dance, painting the portrait of my life, and following my arrow. I have learned valuable lessons: I would rather be true to myself than beautiful to the world, I want to learn more than I earn, and I want to listen to my spirit rather than think about what the world is thinking about me. Self-care is not selfish; it is the opposite because I cannot fill from an empty cup.

by Erin Faulkner, Family Peer Supporter

December 5, 2023

International Disability Awareness Day was December 3^rd.  I have labeled myself as a person with a disability for many years.  It is not a label that I use to get pity or to collect financial assistance.  It is just how I am able to explain with one word that, though I am a successful, capable adult, I do have restrictions and limitations in some activities in my life.

A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions).  A disabled person may not be handicapped if they can find a way around their disability.  Often these are accommodations, but they may just be tools or strategies.  Examples in these are hearing aids, braille, captioning, notebooks, phone apps, step stools, etc.

I have Stickler Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder, that affects my vision, hearing, joints and size.  Due to my hearing loss, I have needed accommodations to allow me to access information, specifically communication.  I wear hearing aids, use closed captioning on all tv shows and movies, and sit in the first few rows at any conference or meetings. I avoid situations and experiences that I am not able to experience the same as someone without a hearing loss.  I don’t go to plays.  I only go to movies that have open-captioning or use a close-captioned device.  I avoid visiting with a large group of people.

I am very myopic, or near-sighted, in my left eye in which I wear a contact lens.  My right eye has had a cataract repair and now has distance vision.  Even with these corrections, I still only have 20/40 vision, or 20/30 on a good day.  For the most part, my vision doesn’t limit my activities, though, the chance of it progressing is high due to glaucoma, cataracts and risk of tears and detachments.

Being only 4’10” isn’t extremely uncommon, but it does add to some of the limitations, such as driving some vehicles.  The most annoying thing is trying to get things off of shelves in the store.  As a side-bar, height restrictions have proven to be a little discriminatory at one store chain, in my opinion.  Shoes are hung with small sizes at the top and large sizes at the bottom, so that the short people that are likely to wear the small shoes can’t reach them.  I also require a foot stool under my desk at work, so that I can sit comfortably without aggravating my hips and knees.

Finally, my limited flexibility and joint pain have the biggest impact on my life.  For example, my hip joints did not develop normally, so my walking gait actually goes against the direction my legs would want to move in the joint.  This means that walking for long periods of time causes pain. It has been frustrating for most of my life to hear that exercise (stretching and strengthening) would help with my pain, but how can I exercise when it hurts?  It was a vicious cycle that I experienced for years until I was finally given some medication that helped with the pain and allowed me to finally exercise and improve my joints, which in turn lessened my pain and allowed me to do more things.

As you can see, I do have some limitations, but only in a few areas of my daily life.  I am able to work, drive, and take care of my family.  I am successful and happy.  My limitations are not excuses.  They are simply reasons for me to look for other ways to do things that I want to do or find other things to do instead.

My 21-year-old daughter also has Stickler Syndrome.  She is a very successful college student who already has a post-graduation job lined up as a chemical engineer.  She has had a 504 plan since elementary school.  Sam has only used supports as she has needed them.  She has found that communicating with professors and employers has helped her bypass any limitations more than the accommodations she might ask for.  Advocating for and accessing what you need to be successful is far different than saying “I can’t because…”  Look for opportunities to succeed not for reasons not to.  Your disability does not inherently make you disabled.  Your attitude about it does.  I have shared some quotes that may help you see yourself or someone you know differently than you had before.

by Erin Faulkner, Family Peer Supporter

November 7, 2023

So many of my coworkers speak and write from the heart.  They bring their authenticity and spirituality into their words.  It is fascinating to me and has caused me, in the past, to put myself down, since it doesn’t seem to come as naturally to me.  My go-to has always been to use the internet, to see what other people have said, what the research says.  Now as I think about the topic of “gratitude”, I realize that that my way of sharing information is still good.  It’s different, but no less valid or meaningful. 

As I typically do when writing on a topic, I looked for definitions and synonyms to make sure that my readers and I are on the same page. Gratitude is “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”.  I like those words:  thankful, appreciation, kindness.  I think it is easy to say thank you, but more powerful to show appreciation and kindness.  It is similar to how saying sorry is just a word, but an apology says why and how you will make it better.  It carries more weight. 

With that idea in mind, and in thinking about the Facebook Gratitude Challenges that always surface in November, I decided to look for some Challenges that I would want to do and share.  I found a great blog that shared a more extensive definition of gratitude as well as some positive health benefits for showing gratitude.

This blog defines gratitude as “the feeling and expression of the awareness of blessings that one has in the form of qualities, lessons, people, achievements, possessions, support, privileges, experiences, and gifts. Gratitude is often related to humility, generosity, and mindfulness.” 

As Peer Supporters we often talk about the importance of self-care.  Having positive health benefits would clearly fit within that construct.  What can being grateful do for you?

1. Allow you to feel more positive emotions
2. Help you build healthier relationships
3. Allow you to feel happier
4. Increase your self-esteem
5. Increase your optimism
6. Reduce materialism
7. Reduce depressive symptoms
8. Improve your sleep
9. Helps in substance abuse recovery

How many of the 8 Domains of Wellness are impacted with just these 9 health benefits?  I see Emotional, Financial, Physical, Social, and Environmental, all of which can directly or indirectly impact Spiritual, Occupational and Intellectual.  How powerful is that!

There are many Gratitude Challenges that you can find on the internet.  I have chosen the one from the blog mentioned above.  I am sharing some of the prompts that impacted me the mostas well as my words of gratitude.

• An activity you enjoy doing
  • Some of my fondest memories growing up include playing games with my mother and sister and laughing so hard we’d fall out of our chairs. It is an activity I participate in as often as I can.  Anytime I am with a group of friends or family that likes to play cards or games, I am all in.  Pinochle has been a bonding activity with my dad whenever I get to see him and something I enjoyed with my late father-in-law.  Playing Pinochle with a group of 11 other ladies is one thing that I do for myself once a month.  I am so appreciative of this pastime.
• Someone you love
  • My favorite person in the world is my daughter. She is now 21 years old.  She has grown from a person that I protected and who I supported and comforted into a friend who I still protect and comfort, but who also supports and comforts me.  I am eternally grateful that God chose me to be her Mom.

by Erin Faulkner, Family Peer Supporter

October 11, 2023

As a child, I viewed my mother’s depression in very simplistic terms.  She was moody, unreasonable, inconsistent and easily irritated. As I look back and “psychoanalyze”, I look at her depression as more of an empty hole.  My mother did an amazing job at giving us great life experiences and adventures and a happy life.  We went on vacations almost yearly.  As a single mom, she couldn’t afford big trips by plane, so it was car trips.  We went to Wisconsin to visit family, California to go to Disneyland, Calgary and Edmonton and the Black Hills for an annual reunion with the Wisconsin family.  Home was filled with laughter during game nights and movie nights.  In addition to giving us these experiences, I wonder if these things filled the hole, so that she wasn’t left feeling empty. 

As I got older, I learned more about my mother’s childhood from her and her sister.  My mother was the third and final child.  Her sisters were 6 and 9 years older than her.  She was an accident, unwanted.  When she was 11, my mother’s mother passed away from a long battle with cancer.  She was then raised by an absent father, a critical older sister and eventually a step-mother who didn’t want to share her new husband. 

I don’t think we’ll ever know if she would have suffered from depression without this childhood trauma, but it certainly contributed to it.  I am amazed that my mother was able to find the strength to give us the love that she often didn’t feel. 

Once we were growing up and leaving home, my mother prepared to fill the loneliness by adopting 4 children.  Let me be clear.  She didn’t just fill her emptiness.  She provided my brothers and sisters with the same great life we had.  It is important for my mother to keep her mind occupied and stay involved in activities.  Her Catholic faith is very important to her, and she is involved heavily in her church.  She is currently taking online classes related to health, keeping that hole filled.

My mother took anti-depressants for as long as I can remember.  She also has seen, and still sees, a counselor at different periods in her life.  About 15 years ago, my mother suffered a traumatic brain injury from a fall on ice.  This compounded her already compromised coping skills.  She turned to alcohol for a period of time.  About 6 years ago, she stopped cold turkey just as she has stopped smoking almost 40 years before. 

My mother has passed on her strength, love and resiliency to her children.  I had a short bout with situational depression in my early 20’s.  Looking back, I think the root cause was my recent diagnosis of a connective tissue disorder and the fear of what my future would look like.  Would I be blind, deaf, disabled?  Once I accepted my possible future and realized that I could control some things, I was able to move on and be happy.  I’m not always happy, but I am not numb to life.  That is the beauty of feelings!

Finally, my daughter, who is now 21, started experiencing anxiety at a young age.  Her anxiety increased when she went away to college.  The anxiety then turned to depression.  Sam was a Covid year graduate, which meant that her first few years of college were not normal.  All of the wonderful things that were supposed to happen, didn’t.  She felt that there was nothing to look forward to. She didn’t find enjoyment in anything.  As a mom, this was heartbreaking.  We cried many tears, mine usually fell after we got off the phone.  Medications were prescribed, but none of them were right.  Counseling during her second year of college provided her with many tools and helped her evaluate herself and her life. In the end, it was the anxiety that she needed to get a handle on.   Sam is now a happy, well-adjusted, but “over it" Senior getting ready to embark on her next adventure this summer. 

These are three different stories of how depression has affected my life.  They are all valid.  They are all life-impacting.  They are all success stories.

September 12, 2023

Recovery, whether from physical ailments, mental health challenges, addiction, or any form of adversity, is a journey that requires unwavering commitment and determination. It is a process that demands not only medical interventions but also a profound dedication to self-improvement and healing. The essence of commitment to recovery lies in the willingness to face challenges head-on, persevere through setbacks, and cultivate resilience that leads to a renewed sense of well-being.

At the heart is the recognition that the path to healing is rarely linear. Setbacks, relapses, and moments of doubt are almost inevitable. However, it is the commitment to the larger goal of recovery that sustains individuals through these trials. This commitment involves a conscious decision to prioritize one's well-being, even when faced with difficulties. It is a dedication to seeking help, whether from medical professionals, therapists, support groups, or loved ones, and utilizing the resources available for the betterment of one's health.

Commitment to recovery is an embodiment of resilience. It's the ability to bounce back from setbacks with newfound strength and determination. Resilience is cultivated through the act of persisting despite challenges, adapting to changing circumstances, and learning from both successes and failures. This resilience not only aids in the process of recovery but also equips individuals with valuable life skills that extend beyond their healing journey.

Furthermore, this commitment is a testament to the power of the human spirit. It showcases our capacity to evolve, transform, and rise above even the most daunting circumstances. It often necessitates making difficult choices and altering habits that might have contributed to the challenge at hand. It requires a willingness to confront past traumas, address underlying issues, and adopt healthier coping mechanisms.

Committing to recovery is a profound and transformative journey that requires dedication, resilience, and an unyielding spirit. It's an acknowledgement that healing is not passive; rather, it's an active pursuit that demands consistent effort and a steadfast commitment to personal growth. Whether recovering from physical ailments, mental health struggles, addiction, or any form of adversity, the commitment to recovery is a testament to the strength of the human will and the capacity to triumph over adversity. Through this commitment, individuals can emerge from their challenges with a renewed sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of their own strength.

by Erin Faulkner, Family Peer Supporter

June 13, 2023

Here at MPN, all of the Peer Supporters, both in the Family Division and Recovery Division, are tasked with writing an article, or a blog, about the month’s topic.  This month’s topic is Radical Acceptance.  I had never heard this term before.  Many of you may be in the same situation.  It is to you that I share what I learned.

I started my education with a Google search.  The first website that came up was verywellmind.com that defined Radical Acceptance as “the ability to accept situations that are outside of your control without judging them, which in turn reduces the suffering that is caused by them.  Radical acceptance is based on the notion that suffering comes not directly from pain, but from one’s attachment to the pain.“  As I read those words, I immediately thought about a video that was just shared with us at a staff education meeting.  We watched a Ted Talk by Cy Wakeman titled “Ditch the Drama – How to Live Happy in a Messy World”.  Ms. Wakeman asks, “How can you just flip your own toggle switch from suffering to a better view of the world?”  Her answer?  Self-reflection involving three questions.

1. What do I know for sure?
2. What can I do to help?
3. What would great look like?

Originally, I watched this video through the eyes of an employee contemplating the drama in my life.  As I thought about the definition of radical acceptance and the connection to this video regarding suffering and the need to separate myself from the pain, I realized that these 3 questions could be a guide to radical acceptance.  When we are suffering emotionally, from a new diagnosis, from the uncertainty of our child’s future or from the weariness of each day caring for our families, we can ask ourselves these same questions.  Sometimes, we get wrapped up in the “what ifs” and move too far from the “what is”.  What do I know for sure?  Once we answer that question, it may be easier to answer the next.  What can I do to help?  Some answers might be to talk to someone (peer support), get educated (find resources), take care of yourself in all dimensions.  And with that follows the last question.  What would great look like?  This is a “what if” question but one that we often don’t ask ourselves as we typically hypothesize the worst outcomes and not the best.  We can’t always change the outcome for our children, but we may be able to change our feelings, our lives, our outcomes as individuals and as families.