by Kayla Myers, Peer Support coordinator

June 24, 2025

I’m a mom of boys, loud, messy, hilarious, curious, deep-feeling boys.

And if I’m honest, one of my greatest hopes, besides them eventually learning to do their laundry and clean up after themselves, is that they grow into men who feel safe being whole. Not just strong or stoic or successful. But soft when they need to be. Honest. Vulnerable. Supported.

Because here’s the truth, one I’ve heard from every mom of boys and quietly carried myself: the world still struggles to let our sons be fully human.

We tell our kids, “It’s okay to cry,” but somewhere between kindergarten and manhood, that message gets lost. Replaced by phrases like “man up,” “don’t be soft,” and “real men don’t talk about their feelings.” And those words don’t just bounce off; they sink in. They settle deep.

As moms, we see their hearts before the world tells them to hide them. We see the quiet anxiety before the tough-guy mask forms. We know the pressure they carry in silence, the self-doubt buried behind humor, the frustration when they don’t have the words to explain what’s going on inside.

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. And if it reminds me of anything, it’s this:

We don’t just need to raise good men.
We need to raise whole men.

Men who know it's okay to ask for help.
Men who’ve had practice expressing what they feel.
Men who’ve seen someone care about what’s happening beneath the surface.

Here’s what I’m doing, or I should say, what I’m trying, daily:

• I ask them how they’re feeling, and I try not to rush past the silence.
• I talk about therapy like it’s normal, because it is.
• I praise emotional honesty just as much as achievements.
• I work on asking for help myself, because they’re always watching.

In my eyes, no boy should grow up believing his feelings make him weak.

So, whether you're a parent, an aunt, a coach, a teacher, or a friend, be part of the voice that says:

You don’t have to pretend you're okay when you’re not.
You’re not less of a man for needing support.
You’re more of one for knowing when to reach out.

To my sons, and all the boys growing into men:
Your mind matters.
Your emotions matter.
You matter.

Let’s raise them to believe it.

(Edited and Enhanced with ChatGPT)

by Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter

December 17, 2024

Dear Fellow Parent,

I know exactly what you're going through right now. It might not always seem like it, but you are doing an incredible job. Sometimes, in the whirlwind of daily life, you are managing school pickups, making sure the meals are ready, keeping track of doctor's appointments, handling tantrums (both big and small), and let's not forget the never-ending laundry. You may forget that what you're doing is nothing short of amazing.

I’ve been there, too. I know what it feels like when you’re so wrapped up in your kids’ needs and schedules that your own gets lost in the shuffle. You might have the constant feeling of being "on," that there’s always something to do for someone else. And I get it, parenting, with all its beautiful chaos, can consume every bit of your time and energy.

But I want to remind you of something important: You are more than just a parent.

I’m saying this but not lightly because I know you play a vital role in your kids’ lives, but to help you remember that in the middle of all this giving, you deserve to take care of yourself too. You are an individual with hopes, dreams, passions, and needs that are just as important as the ones your children have. Being a great parent doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process.

Think about it this way: how can we give our best to our children if we aren't caring for ourselves? You’ve probably heard the analogy of putting on your oxygen mask first before helping others. It’s true. If you’re running on empty, it’s hard to fill anyone else's cup. You deserve moments of rest, joy, and self-care. You deserve to nurture your well-being, even if it means asking for help or carving out time for yourself. It's so easy to slip into the routine of putting your needs last. But taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s self-preservation. It shows your children that it's okay to care for your mental and physical health. It’s demonstrating that balance and self-respect are essential to living a full life. A life that doesn’t just revolve around obligations but also includes joy and fulfillment. You are setting an example for them by showing that taking time for self-care isn’t just acceptable, it’s your lifeline.

Don’t get me wrong, I have rolled my eyes more than once at the thought of trying to practice self-care and at all the very impractical suggestions. But maybe it’s a cup of coffee in peace before the kids wake up. Or a 20-minute walk by yourself. Or even sitting in your car for five minutes after grocery shopping to just breathe. Or one of my favorites, blasting my favorite song in my headphones or in my car and singing at the top of my lungs. Whatever it is, permit yourself to take it. Those moments add up, and before you know it, you’ll start feeling recharged and more present when you are with your family.

And while we’re on the topic, let’s talk about grace. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. If things don’t always go according to plan, if the house isn’t spotless, or if the kids eat cereal for dinner again, don’t beat yourself up. Perfection is overrated. The fact that you’re showing up each day with love and commitment is more than enough. The children you are raising are seeing your effort and love, even on the hardest days.

So, here’s my reminder to you: You matter. Your needs matter. Your physical health, mental health, and emotional well-being, matter. You are a beautiful, strong, and capable person who deserves time and care just as much as anyone else in your home.

Thank you for everything you do. I see you. And I hope you can take a moment today to see yourself, too, for all the wonderful things you are both as a parent and an individual. You are doing great.

From someone who also needs this reminder often,
A Fellow Parent

(Edited and enhanced with ChatGPT)

By Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter

November 19, 2024

To celebrate National Child’s Day, I find myself reflecting on the incredible journey of motherhood and the two beautiful boys who have forever changed my life. It’s a day to honor children, yes, but for me, it’s also a moment to pause and truly appreciate the little hands that grip mine so tightly, the laughter that echoes through our home, and the endless moments of joy and challenges that come with raising two unique and wonderful souls.

I still remember the day each of my boys was born, how I felt a rush of love so deep it felt like it could never be contained. Years later, that love continues to evolve into something even more profound. Watching them grow and navigate the world makes me marvel at their strength, curiosity, and boundless imagination. Each day they remind me of the simplest things like a butterfly on a spring morning or the joy summer time approaching brings with warm weather and longer days. They both have so much beauty and magic in their souls, I am so thankful to watch them grow. In their eyes, life is an adventure; every day is an opportunity to learn and discover something new.

Easton is my firstborn and is a wild spirit, the one who keeps us on our toes. He’s full of energy, always moving, always asking questions. My youngest is the thinker, and Easton is the doer. He doesn’t wait for the world to come to him, he runs headfirst into it. His confidence is contagious. It’s impossible to feel sad when Easton is around. He has this way of making even the most mundane activities feel like an exciting adventure. Whether he's telling a joke, building a tower that’s taller than he is, or exploring the backyard like it’s a jungle, Easton brings an infectious joy to our home that makes life feel like one big celebration.

Bryce, my youngest, is an old soul in a young body. He’s the quiet thinker, the one who keeps to himself and finds joy in the simple things in life. Although he is non-verbal, his curiosity never seems to have limits, and his mind is always working. What I admire most about him is his ability to touch your heart and soul without saying a single word. Even at a young age, he has this incredible ability to sense when someone needs comfort, whether it's his family, someone he knows well, or a stranger. It humbles me to watch him interact with the world in such a thoughtful way.

On National Children’s Day, I think about what it means to raise these two boys. How I am both a teacher and a student in this journey of parenthood. They are constantly teaching me to be more patient, more present, and more open to the world around me. I have learned to find joy in the smallest moments. Whether it’s a homemade card that reads “I love you, Mom” or the way they both rush to greet me after school, faces lit up with excitement to share the details of their day.

I also reflect on the responsibility that comes with being their parent. Every decision I make, every lesson I teach, and every word I say, will shape their understanding of the world. I want them to grow up knowing they are loved unconditionally, that kindness is one of the most important virtues, and that they are capable of achieving anything they set their hearts to. I want them to embrace their uniqueness, to be proud of who they are, and to never lose their sense of wonder.

Being a mom is a wild ride, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Watching my boys grow and develop into their own little people, each with their own dreams, quirks, and strengths, fills me with love and pride that words often fail to capture. National Child’s Day serves as a reminder to celebrate not just the joys of being a child but the incredible privilege it is to be a parent.

To my boys, Easton and Bryce: thank you for making every day an adventure. Thank you for showing me what true joy and love look like. You are my heart, my world, and my greatest blessings. I can’t wait to see where life takes us next.

Happy National Child’s Day! Here’s to all the giggles, the messes, the milestones, and the beautiful moments we share together. You are my everything.

*Edited and Formatted: ChatGPT

by Beth Ayers, Family Support Lead

August 6, 2024

The word boundaries can bring to mind a variety of images and feelings. Boundaries can have a negative connotation or conjure feelings of safety. Boundaries can be a hard concept for many. Often, setting boundaries feels uncaring. I personally have a love/hate relationship with boundaries. I find the concept confusing when trying to apply it to my life and relationships. Setting boundaries can cause conflict with others whose boundaries are different. Essentially, boundaries protect the important things in life. In order to set effective boundaries, you have to know your priorities. And to know your priorities, you first have to know your values.

Values are the “gut level” qualities that guide you. Values are those things most important to you. Your non-negotiables. There are over 50 common core values. Most people have 6 or so. What are yours? Priorities tend to be relationships. Most of us have good priorities but many struggle to live them out in the right order. List your priorities in order of most important. A good but hard question to ask ourselves is “Does my life reflect the order of my priorities?” Stephen Covey said, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” How do we do this? One way is to jot down your regular routine and identify if there is a value & priority at play with each item. Does your highest priority show up in your routine and if so, how often? What shows up most often in your routine? Where do you see your other priorities in your schedule? Which of your priorities are not in your schedule? The years after Covid have shown us that we need social interaction and face-to-face connection. How do you refill your cup? How do you feed yourself physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Where do you have fun? Research says it takes 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain unless it’s done while having fun/playing. Then it only takes 10-20 repetitions! (Source Oak Tree Development Center)

Raising a child with a behavioral health challenge and/or special healthcare need is a marathon, not a sprint. As parents to children with complex needs, we do not have the luxury to say yes to everything. When my child began school, I was bombarded with volunteer opportunities and wanted to do them all- home room mom, reading helper, PTA member, book group leader, field trip chaperone, and so on. And don’t forget about snacks and lunches and birthday treats. I wanted them to be homemade, delicious, and perfect. My motivation to say “yes” varied. Sometimes I really wanted to participate, other times I felt like I had to if I wanted to be a “good” mom. Sometimes I wanted to participate because these were all new experiences for me and my child and I wanted to be involved in all of them. And sometimes it is just really hard to say “no.” Not only did I want to do most of these, I thought I “should” be able to do all of them. I saw other moms doing it all. I had dreams of doing it all with and for my child. As a mom to a child with extra needs, my expectations and dreams had to change. There is a grieving process when our life doesn’t turn out exactly as we thought it would. It’s important to grieve and find acceptance. It opens space for new dreams and hopes. It allows gratitude to grow in us for what we have. It can help to look at how many hours you spend taking care of your child. Time spent at appointments, driving to and from appointments, researching illnesses and therapies and resources and services. And don’t forget about the mental, emotional, and physical toll caring for a child with complex needs can have on us as caregivers. Added all up, how many hours is that in a school week? Sally Super Mom’s child doesn’t require the extra care, giving her extra hours in the week. Let her be home room mom, PTA president, reading buddy. I have found a good question to ask myself is, “Can someone else take this role?” No one else is going to be my child’s mom, but all the other parents can be home room mom. My child is also more likely to remember the time I spend with them than whether their treats were homemade. Give yourself permission to say yes or no based on your values and priorities. The stage of life you are in now will change. Your values and priorities might change. “No” doesn’t have to be forever, sometimes it’s just “not now.”

Now that we have identified our values, boundaries, and routine, how do we protect them? Boundaries! Boundaries are not our values and priorities. We put boundaries around our values and priorities to protect them. Like a fence. Having clear boundaries will help you make decisions about your time and will help others know what to expect from you. Boundaries are a form of self-care. They can protect from caregiver burnout and chronic stress. Boundaries are important to our health and wellness. And our wellness is important to our child.

Interested in learning more? Check out our learning platform.

by Andi Daniel, Technology Coordinator

December 26, 2023

by Andi Daniel, Technology Coordinator

December 12, 2023

I am a "grinch." Originally, that was a title given to me by people around me. Specifically when I worked at an early childhood program and had small children of my own. I do not enjoy the holidays. There were many years that we didn't put up a Christmas tree and when my co-workers heard me say that, they acted as if I was severely neglecting my children. We aren't a religious family so we really only celebrated Christmas as a secular holiday. I enjoyed Christmas Day as a kid. It was predictable. Christmas Eve was different. We spent Christmas eve with my dad's family and Christmas Day with my mom's family. My grandpa on my mom's side loved decorating for the holidays and genuinely enjoyed Christmas so it was fun to be there. Celebrations with my dad's extended family were always focused around alcohol and were not enjoyable. Inevitably, some family members would have a disagreement that resulted in loud arguments which were scary as a young child but I got to spend time with my great grandma who I adored so I could sometimes block out the other stuff. When my great grandma moved into a nursing home, those larger family gatherings ended and we would visit her on holidays. It was easy to leave when more people showed up because there simply wasn't enough space in her room for several people.

My parents divorced when I was a senior in high school so my first Christmas back from college was different. My dad had moved in with a girlfriend and her family celebrated on Christmas Eve so that disrupted the predictability I had with Christmas. We no longer spent Christmas eve with my dad's family and were forced to split Christmas Day between two households. I hated it. My mom was always very accommodating since my dad worked on the railroad and his work schedule was unpredictable. My mom and grandma would work around whatever my dad's plans were but I still hated it. Part of this, I'm sure, was related to the excessive changes that had happened during the last couple years of high school and into college. My maternal grandfather died, my parents divorced, I started college out of state, my mom moved out of my childhood home, my dad moved 20 miles from my hometown and in with his girlfriend, and I had a volatile romantic relationship. So while none of that was really related to the holidays, Christmas kind of brought all that into focus at one time.

When I had children I thought maybe the holiday spirit would come back to me but it just complicated things more. Now I had another family to consider and accommodate. I did enjoy buying or making gifts for my kids and doing the secular Christmas things but when my maternal grandma moved out of her house and into an assisted living apartment, things changed again. She wasn't able to cook Christmas dinner in her apartment and my mom had moved out of town so I felt like it was my responsibility to take over those holiday tasks. But I really wasn't good at it. I could never manage to get all the food ready at the same time and couldn't figure out how my grandma always managed to do that. I found out later that she just knew how to keep things warm while the rest of the food was cooking. But to me as a child, it always looked perfect. And that was the problem. I wanted the holidays to be perfect. I felt like I was failing by not managing things the way my parents and grandparents had. I was stressed about gifts, decorations, food, etc. It only got worse when I divorced and now had to schedule events around another household and another family when my ex-husband moved in with his girlfriend.

Here is the thing about perfectionism. My rational brain knows that none of this will be perfect and that my children won't be scarred for life if the turkey is dry or dinner happens at 6pm instead of 2pm. These are small things but my emotional self still had these high expectations. If I couldn't meet them, I was a failure. The expectations of those co-workers who thought I was neglectful for not having a Christmas tree didn't help. Being forced to decorate my office or hallway for Christmas irritated me. Christmas music sets me on edge. Crowded stores stress me out. On the other hand, I love acting in the Christmas Pantos that my theatre company does every few years. I've even directed a few Christmas shows. This gives me something to focus on during the holidays and because I have given up trying to make things perfect, I don't have as much to do as some other actors and directors. The last few years have been very quiet around the holidays. My grandma passed away several years ago. My daughters live out of state and have significant others so sometimes they come home and sometimes they don't. My mom spends Christmas with my brother's family in California because he likes Christmas and has younger children. She always asks if its okay and I always tell her to go. She visits me regularly anyway so it makes sense for her to visit them when she can. I always have a standing invitation to go to California, but I really don't mind being alone on Christmas or Thanksgiving. There are no expectations, I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I can simply enjoy a few days off from work.

I don't worry about gifts much because I buy my kids monthly subscription boxes instead of birthday or Christmas gifts. They get to pick what they like, they can change it whenever they want to, and it cuts down on me frantically trying to decide what to buy for everyone.

Just as it is okay not to be okay, it is okay not to like holidays. So, yes, I am still a "grinch" but now I embrace that side of me.