by Kayla Myers, Peer Support coordinator

July 21, 2025

Every year, National Parents’ Day comes and goes, and honestly, I didn’t even know it existed until a few years ago. There are no balloons or wrapped gifts. No themed parties, school plays, or glittery cards like we see on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. And honestly? That’s what makes it feel more real to me.

Parenting doesn’t usually look like a greeting card. It’s unfiltered. It’s behind the scenes. It’s deeply personal. It’s also the hardest, but most sacred, thing I’ve ever done.

Parenting is early mornings with tired eyes and late nights filled with worry. It’s asking myself, Did I say the right thing? Was I too soft? Too strict? Too distracted? Too emotional? Am I giving them enough? Am I enough? It’s making a thousand decisions a day and second-guessing at least half of them. It’s pouring from a cup that sometimes feels empty, and still showing up the next day with whatever strength I can find. Because their love keeps me going.

And yet, even in the chaos, there is so much beauty.

There’s laughter that echoes through the house, sometimes because of something silly, sometimes for no reason at all. There are milestones—and messy milestones. Little victories that might go unnoticed by the world, but mean everything to us. There are those quiet, sacred moments when I look at my kids and catch a glimpse of the people they’re becoming, and I think, “I get to be their mom.” That thought alone has carried me through some of the toughest days.

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. I learned that fast the day I brought my oldest home from the hospital. And no two parenting journeys look the same. There are seasons of pure joy, and there are seasons that feel like sheer survival. I’ve had to learn to let go of the idea that I need to do it all on my own. I’ve leaned on the support of other parents. I’ve asked for help, even when it was hard. And I’ve reminded myself that perfection isn’t the goal, presence is.

So this month, in honor of National Parents’ Day, I want to pause and recognize all of us who are simply doing the best we can.

Whether you’re a birth parent, adoptive parent, foster parent, bonus parent, grandparent raising grandchildren, or a chosen parent, your love matters. Your consistency matters. YOU matter.

Let’s keep building each other up. Let’s offer grace instead of guilt. Let’s remind ourselves—and each other—that even on the hardest days, we are doing something deeply meaningful.

Because at the heart of parenting lies a quiet, powerful truth: we are shaping lives with our love. It may be messy. It may be imperfect. But it is real and it is enough.

From one parent to another: Happy National Parents’ Day. You’re doing better than you think.

With love and solidarity,
A fellow mom who gets it

(Edited and Enhanced by ChatGPT)

By Melissa Meyer, MPN member

Unconditional love is something I have been blessed to have in abundance in my life. A year ago, my mother passed away, and about six months ago I had a realization. It hit me like a brick on a tearful ride home in the car. Part of the reason for my continual heartache in regards of losing her was that for 48 years, I was blessed with unconditional love on a daily basis. I was not just grieving the loss of my mother, her “being” and friendship, I was grieving for the loss of her constant unconditional love that kept me strong. I was craving it and wanted it back!

A whole new type of healing needed to take place which made me focus on loving myself, by myself, for the first time in my life. This is no easy task for a person in recovery who is used to having that kind of love at their disposal at any time when they feel so vile about themselves. Unconditional love from my mother had been my safety net and now I’m flying solo, on my own, with no one to catch me! This is why I wanted to    focus on unconditional love in recovery as the topic for our February newsletter. I have a renewed appreciation for this important element not only for my recovery, but for all of us that keep on keeping on through recovery. I now almost always mention this with all of my peers while discussing recovery. This kind of love has no bounds and is ever changing as we grow in our recovery process. It was given freely to me no matter what. Will it help me to heal the loss I feel if I stress sharing this in my own life? I don’t need to reserve this just for my children, lover, father, or other family members. I can show unconditional love for my peers.

Loving is a primal instinct and requires exchange, whereas unconditional love is more of a limitless kind of love that cannot be measured or appraised. Having this recovery tool is essential. It may not come from a family member; it may come from another peer or a close friend. It’s that we have it that matters. The understanding of unconditional love is different with experts, religions, and nationalities and yet, will always revolve around having a relationship without conditions. I understand the bond between a mother and child is about as unconditional as it gets, and having my mom in my life on a daily basis through the first nine years of recovery gave me the strength to lose her.  She not only taught me how to live, but she also taught me how to die.

Although Valentine’s Day likes to focus primarily on “romantic love” which is also very fun, this month I will celebrate unconditional love through my work, giving of myself with caring and empathy to deliver the wonderment of healing and recovery. 

(Originally published in the MPN newsletter in February 2017)

by Beth Ayers, Family Peer Support Lead

March 21, 2023

Mental illness affects the whole family. And although each member’s recovery is individual, recovery and healing as a family has been important to me and to my own recovery and wellness.

For me, recovery is not a straight line nor does it have an end date. It is day by day, choice by choice. My recovery has included many things that have changed through the years. Some are counseling- individual, marriage, and family, EMDR and trauma work, support groups, medication, journaling, growing in my faith, learning more about mental illness, talking with friends and family who support me, and exercise. Working as a Family Peer Supporter, sharing my story, advocating for and helping other families has brought a lot of healing and wellness to my life as well. Being able to talk openly about the effects of mental illness on our family has brought understanding, forgiveness, and healing to our family.  However, my recovery and wellness are not dependent on my family. I have learned that I can be okay regardless of what others are doing.

For many years I tried to control the effects of mental illness on my life and my family by changing others. My thinking was, if only they would admit they were unhealthy; if only they would do this or change that; if only they reacted to me differently; if only they would take care of themselves; if only they would do it my way; then, recovery would be possible for them and for me. I felt powerless, hopeless, and overwhelmed. What I didn’t realize was that by trying to change what was out of my control, namely others in my family, I was giving up the control I actually did have- control of myself, my actions, my choices, my attitude, my healing and recovery- my wellness.

I want the best for my family. I want the suffering caused by mental illness to end. I want relationships restored. And the best way I know to help my family is by taking care of myself and working on my own wellness and recovery.

by Nikki Russel, Recovery Coach

March 14, 2023

Relationships have served as a mirror into my heart, showing me where I need to grow and giving me the inspiration to overcome my greatest fears. Relationships reflect my internal frame of reference, the dominant conditioning that insists on being safe. I unknowingly used relationships to justify an abandonment wound I held since childhood. I had distorted love and minimized it into a container of protection. I was seeking in others what I desperately needed within myself. With this perspective, I would hold people in my life hostage, demanding they give me what I was lacking.

Recovery transformed my heart and relationships now teach me forgiveness. What I used to view as injustices done to me by someone else, I see as opportunities to heal something in myself I could not have known without them.

If in life you get what you give than relationships are a gift because in the other person I can feel and see what I need and I can offer that as medicine for myself and free them from my mental prison. When it came to relationships in my past, I had an ideal or an expectation that they must provide the love I needed. Today I know that I offer the love that flows freely through me to you without cost and no requirement to love me back.

I risk my truth in a relationship. Relationships walk me to the edge of my comfort zone and ask me if I am willing to take a leap of faith for love. My answer today is a resounding YES…I would not miss that experience for anything!

by Bill Deavel, Peer Support Coordinator

January 31, 2023

Well, this will be my fourth time I have written on this topic while at MPN. Let’s see what my heart puts down on paper. I believe that relationships are what gives each of our lives purpose. The connection that each of us have with the people in our lives is what gives us the ability have the emotions that we get to experience. I also believe that we get to have a relationship with ourselves. I know for myself for a long time I sought relationships with others so that I could feel a certain way. The relationship that I have cultivated with myself has given me the ability to have quality relationships with others.

My spirituality has been the key to be able to unlock who I truly am. My relationship with God has freed me from self and has given me my purpose in life which is to serve others. This is my foundation in being able to maintain quality relationships with others. Now, I wish I could say that I handle all the different relationships in my life with perfection, however that is not the case. I choose to do a daily inventory on how I treated others. Most days I treat others with dignity and respect, there are those days when I need to go to individuals and own my behavior and correct the mistakes that I have done. I know for myself when my time here on earth is over, I want to be remembered as someone that gave himself to others in a way that had a positive impact on each of their lives. I will end with saying that if we are willing to be honest with ourselves and continue to work on the relationships in our lives, we will have the opportunity to experience love joy and respect. Treasure the relationships that you have, they are important.

by Bill Deavel, Peer Support Coordinator

January 31, 2023

Well, this will be my fourth time I have written on this topic while at MPN. Let’s see what my heart puts down on paper. I believe that relationships are what gives each of our lives purpose. The connection that each of us have with the people in our lives is what gives us the ability have the emotions that we get to experience. I also believe that we get to have a relationship with ourselves. I know for myself for a long time I sought relationships with others so that I could feel a certain way. The relationship that I have cultivated with myself has given me the ability to have quality relationships with others.

My spirituality has been the key to be able to unlock who I truly am. My relationship with God has freed me from self and has given me my purpose in life which is to serve others. This is my foundation in being able to maintain quality relationships with others. Now, I wish I could say that I handle all the different relationships in my life with perfection, however that is not the case. I choose to do a daily inventory on how I treated others. Most days I treat others with dignity and respect, there are those days when I need to go to individuals and own my behavior and correct the mistakes that I have done. I know for myself when my time here on earth is over, I want to be remembered as someone that gave himself to others in a way that had a positive impact on each of their lives. I will end with saying that if we are willing to be honest with ourselves and continue to work on the relationships in our lives, we will have the opportunity to experience love joy and respect. Treasure the relationships that you have, they are important.