by Kayla Myers, Peer Support coordinator

July 21, 2025

Every year, National Parents’ Day comes and goes, and honestly, I didn’t even know it existed until a few years ago. There are no balloons or wrapped gifts. No themed parties, school plays, or glittery cards like we see on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. And honestly? That’s what makes it feel more real to me.

Parenting doesn’t usually look like a greeting card. It’s unfiltered. It’s behind the scenes. It’s deeply personal. It’s also the hardest, but most sacred, thing I’ve ever done.

Parenting is early mornings with tired eyes and late nights filled with worry. It’s asking myself, Did I say the right thing? Was I too soft? Too strict? Too distracted? Too emotional? Am I giving them enough? Am I enough? It’s making a thousand decisions a day and second-guessing at least half of them. It’s pouring from a cup that sometimes feels empty, and still showing up the next day with whatever strength I can find. Because their love keeps me going.

And yet, even in the chaos, there is so much beauty.

There’s laughter that echoes through the house, sometimes because of something silly, sometimes for no reason at all. There are milestones—and messy milestones. Little victories that might go unnoticed by the world, but mean everything to us. There are those quiet, sacred moments when I look at my kids and catch a glimpse of the people they’re becoming, and I think, “I get to be their mom.” That thought alone has carried me through some of the toughest days.

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. I learned that fast the day I brought my oldest home from the hospital. And no two parenting journeys look the same. There are seasons of pure joy, and there are seasons that feel like sheer survival. I’ve had to learn to let go of the idea that I need to do it all on my own. I’ve leaned on the support of other parents. I’ve asked for help, even when it was hard. And I’ve reminded myself that perfection isn’t the goal, presence is.

So this month, in honor of National Parents’ Day, I want to pause and recognize all of us who are simply doing the best we can.

Whether you’re a birth parent, adoptive parent, foster parent, bonus parent, grandparent raising grandchildren, or a chosen parent, your love matters. Your consistency matters. YOU matter.

Let’s keep building each other up. Let’s offer grace instead of guilt. Let’s remind ourselves—and each other—that even on the hardest days, we are doing something deeply meaningful.

Because at the heart of parenting lies a quiet, powerful truth: we are shaping lives with our love. It may be messy. It may be imperfect. But it is real and it is enough.

From one parent to another: Happy National Parents’ Day. You’re doing better than you think.

With love and solidarity,
A fellow mom who gets it

(Edited and Enhanced by ChatGPT)

By Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter

November 19, 2024

To celebrate National Child’s Day, I find myself reflecting on the incredible journey of motherhood and the two beautiful boys who have forever changed my life. It’s a day to honor children, yes, but for me, it’s also a moment to pause and truly appreciate the little hands that grip mine so tightly, the laughter that echoes through our home, and the endless moments of joy and challenges that come with raising two unique and wonderful souls.

I still remember the day each of my boys was born, how I felt a rush of love so deep it felt like it could never be contained. Years later, that love continues to evolve into something even more profound. Watching them grow and navigate the world makes me marvel at their strength, curiosity, and boundless imagination. Each day they remind me of the simplest things like a butterfly on a spring morning or the joy summer time approaching brings with warm weather and longer days. They both have so much beauty and magic in their souls, I am so thankful to watch them grow. In their eyes, life is an adventure; every day is an opportunity to learn and discover something new.

Easton is my firstborn and is a wild spirit, the one who keeps us on our toes. He’s full of energy, always moving, always asking questions. My youngest is the thinker, and Easton is the doer. He doesn’t wait for the world to come to him, he runs headfirst into it. His confidence is contagious. It’s impossible to feel sad when Easton is around. He has this way of making even the most mundane activities feel like an exciting adventure. Whether he's telling a joke, building a tower that’s taller than he is, or exploring the backyard like it’s a jungle, Easton brings an infectious joy to our home that makes life feel like one big celebration.

Bryce, my youngest, is an old soul in a young body. He’s the quiet thinker, the one who keeps to himself and finds joy in the simple things in life. Although he is non-verbal, his curiosity never seems to have limits, and his mind is always working. What I admire most about him is his ability to touch your heart and soul without saying a single word. Even at a young age, he has this incredible ability to sense when someone needs comfort, whether it's his family, someone he knows well, or a stranger. It humbles me to watch him interact with the world in such a thoughtful way.

On National Children’s Day, I think about what it means to raise these two boys. How I am both a teacher and a student in this journey of parenthood. They are constantly teaching me to be more patient, more present, and more open to the world around me. I have learned to find joy in the smallest moments. Whether it’s a homemade card that reads “I love you, Mom” or the way they both rush to greet me after school, faces lit up with excitement to share the details of their day.

I also reflect on the responsibility that comes with being their parent. Every decision I make, every lesson I teach, and every word I say, will shape their understanding of the world. I want them to grow up knowing they are loved unconditionally, that kindness is one of the most important virtues, and that they are capable of achieving anything they set their hearts to. I want them to embrace their uniqueness, to be proud of who they are, and to never lose their sense of wonder.

Being a mom is a wild ride, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Watching my boys grow and develop into their own little people, each with their own dreams, quirks, and strengths, fills me with love and pride that words often fail to capture. National Child’s Day serves as a reminder to celebrate not just the joys of being a child but the incredible privilege it is to be a parent.

To my boys, Easton and Bryce: thank you for making every day an adventure. Thank you for showing me what true joy and love look like. You are my heart, my world, and my greatest blessings. I can’t wait to see where life takes us next.

Happy National Child’s Day! Here’s to all the giggles, the messes, the milestones, and the beautiful moments we share together. You are my everything.

*Edited and Formatted: ChatGPT

by Beth Ayers, Family Support Lead

September 10, 2024

September is Recovery Month. But What Does Recovery Mean for Families?

The word “recovery” is usually associated with addiction, sobriety, AA, substance use disorder, treatment, or abstinence. In healthcare, we associate “recovery” with healing after surgery, illness, or injury. In the recovery world, “recovery” from mental health disorders can look like managing symptoms, absence of hospital stays, improvement in mental health, or increased ability to function in day-to-day life.

Parents and caregivers of children with special healthcare needs including behavioral health, usually don’t see the word “recovery” applying to them or their families and especially not children who have life-long physical, cognitive, or developmental disabilities.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines recovery as “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” According to this definition, “recovery” absolutely applies to children with any special healthcare need, to their parents and caregivers, and to the family as a whole. Improvement in health isn’t only physical; it can be emotional, mental, or spiritual health. In family-centered care, the child or youth and the parents or caregivers are encouraged to participate in the decision-making process and plan of care. Their voice and choice matter and are essential. I believe it is every parent’s and caregiver’s goal to help the child reach their full potential, whatever that looks like for the individual.

The word “wellness” is often substituted for recovery. “Wellness” can be easier for some families to relate to than “recovery.” However, “wellness” can still be hard to identify with for parents and caregivers of children with lifelong health conditions or disabilities. “Wellness” is sometimes used to describe complete healing, perfect health, or being free from illness or disability. But the Global Wellness Institute defines wellness as “the active pursuit of activities, choices and lifestyles that lead to a state of holistic health.” Holistic health encompasses all aspects of a person’s being including emotional, mental or intellectual, physical, spiritual, vocational, financial, social, and environmental. Every child, regardless of their challenge, illness, or disability, can have wellness. I have a friend whose son has down syndrome, a genetic disorder that causes developmental delays and physical disabilities. I would describe him as living in wellness. He participates in activities such as sports including being on teams in Special Olympics (he even carried the torch one year!), art classes, and riding an innertube behind his family’s boat (he even loves the wipe out!). He loves his job at a pizza restaurant and told me the other day that he has been there 7 years. He enjoys volunteering as greeter on Sundays at his church and loves social interactions with his friends, family, coworkers, and everyone he meets. His life is full of purpose, fun, and wellness. He jumps out of bed everyday ready to take on the world. If that’s not “wellness,” I don’t know what is. SAMHSA “envisions wellness not as the absence of disease, illness, and stress, but as the presence of a positive purpose in life, satisfying work and play, joyful relationships, a healthy body and living environment.”[1]

Looking at the definitions of recovery and wellness, I would say they are interchangeable and possible for everyone.

Our recovery and wellness journeys are not straight lines. They come with ups and downs, forward and backward movements, stops and starts, and plateaus. They do not have a beginning or ending point. They are unique to each individual. Your recovery and wellness are defined by you alone. Recovery and wellness can take many paths. SAMHSA has developed 10 Guiding Principles of Recovery (and Wellness, added by me). Recovery (Wellness):

• Emerges from hope
• Is person-driven
• Occurs via many pathways
• Is holistic
• Is supported by peers and allies
• Is supported through relationship and social networks
• Is culturally-based and influenced
• Is supported by addressing trauma
• Involves individual, family, and community strengths and responsibility
• Is based on respect

My recovery/wellness journey began before I had children, but I wouldn’t have described it as such. From an early age, I learned what I enjoyed and what I was good at. I learned coping strategies for the ups and downs of life. Unfortunately, instead of leading me closer to wellness, my coping strategies were destructive to my health and wellness. Learning new ways to cope has been part of my journey. I have found hope and social networks in support groups. I have tried different pathways, some leading to recovery and wellness and others not so much. One pathway I tried repeatedly could be described as a tightrope. I would start at the beginning, finding my “balance” by doing everything “right.” With wellness on the other end as my goal, I would carefully make my way across. But inevitably I would make a “wrong” move. I couldn’t seem to hold it together long enough to get to the other side. I would get angry at my child or spouse; I would not get my responsibilities done; my life wouldn’t go the way I was hoping; my child would misbehave obviously due to my poor parenting; my feelings would be negative; I wasn’t doing it perfectly. And just like that, I had fallen off my “path.” Usually, my fall from the tightrope led me to those destructive coping strategies to deal with my feelings of failure and hopelessness. Eventually, I would pick myself up and go back to the beginning and start over. Always trying to hold it all together long enough to reach the other side and the wellness and safety I thought waited for me there. I have learned to take a different path of recovery and wellness. This alternative pathway is a trail. There is no end to my recovery/wellness journey, no point when I arrive at total wellness. I get to experience wellness as I move along the trail. Somedays more than others. There are times I “fall off” the path. But unlike the tightrope, I just step back on. Sometimes I get lost in the forest and have to find my way back. Sometimes I turn around and go back aways. Sometimes I sit down stubbornly refusing to continue on. As I look back at my pathway, I see how far I have come. Despite all the detours and wrong turns, I have made progress. Unlike the tightrope requiring perfection where I continue to have to start over at the beginning, my new pathway is more gentle and forgiving. I learn how to offer myself and others grace.

My recovery/wellness journey has also included, at different times and not all at once, professional counseling (individual, family, and marital), sponsorship and mentoring (getting to be both sponsor and sponsee), support groups, church groups, self-help and leadership development books, peer support trainings, exercise, developing healthier eating habits, crying (studies have shown the healing power of tears), prescribed medication, self-care such as rest through meditation or fun with hobbies I enjoy (snuck into the tiny bits of free time here and there), quiet time and prayer, traveling, spending time in nature, keeping a gratitude list, journaling, being in relationship with others (my close friends have been lifesavers), and learning to use my voice and my lived experience to advocate for myself, my child, my family, and others. Becoming a Family Peer Supporter has been a big part of my recovery/wellness journey.

Acceptance has also been important to my recovery/wellness. Accepting myself, accepting my child, accepting my child’s behavioral health challenges and diagnoses, accepting my reality, and accepting what I cannot change which is everything and everyone besides myself and my actions. I have had to go through the grieving process with lost dreams and hopes for myself and my child. And I continue to go through the grieving process whenever there is change or a new stage of treatment or new loss. Overall, hope has been the most important. Hope that recovery and wellness are possible; hope for new dreams; hope that we will get through whatever season we are in; hope shared by others who are further in their recovery/wellness journey. We share hope whenever we share our recovery (or resiliency) story with others.

So, what do the words “recovery” and “wellness” mean to families and parents/caregivers raising children with behavioral health challenges and special healthcare needs?

• “A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” (SAMSHA)
• “The active pursuit of activities, choices and lifestyles that lead to a state of holistic health.” (Global Wellness Institute)
• “Not as the absence of disease, illness, and stress, but as the presence of a positive purpose in life, satisfying work and play, joyful relationships, a healthy body and living environment.” (SAMHSA)

To hear other family members share their own family recovery story and how they learned to improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential as a family, register for a Special Recovery Month Family Event:  "Nothing About Us Without Us: Families Supporting Recovery." This event will be held virtually Monday, September 16, 2024, at 11:00 am MST and hosted by SAMSHA and the National Federation of Families. Register at https://www.zoomgov.com/meeting/register/vJItf-irqTwiG8Bn85d59NIptD0G61q1ZSk#/registration.

By Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter

March 11, 2024

I had a revelation recently and am still unsure how to correct this coping mechanism I acquired on my journey through life. I guess at this point acknowledging and identifying this within myself is currently the stage I am in. So, I thought this would be a good way to reflect through writing and see if any more revelations transpire my growth. “Carpe Diem” is a Latin term meaning “Seize the day”. This can inspire the idea of living in the moment or for today, so we aren’t wasting what little time we have on this earth worrying about what has already happened or what is to come.

I was recently re-exposed to the idea of perfectionism. Identifying as someone who struggled with perfectionism didn’t ring true for me when I heard this idea brought up long ago. To me perfectionism meant you kept your spaces tidy, and your hair and makeup were always done, you were an overachiever, and things had to be perfect in your mind until you could be proud of yourself or the work you accomplished. I do not need things to be perfect to live a life that feels good to me. But when we dove into the layers of perfectionism, something hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I had this invisible report card inside of me where I was being graded and I was the one grading myself. I have zero idea of what I am being graded on or my expectations for myself, but it's there. How can I live up to this potential of a bogus scoring system that I allowed to control my self-worth and not offer myself grace when I don’t succeed? I feel like I owe myself an apology for setting such unfair terms to measure my success and when I fail, my worth always crumbles in my hands.

I have always been a kind soul. The one that roots for the underdog and wants to believe that we are all good underneath the layers of our lives and journeys that either left us better or battered. We are all trying to do the best job we know how to do with the tools we have in our toolkits. I offer grace and understanding to everyone around me and keep in mind that I have zero idea about the battles they are fighting every day. All these things come so naturally to me, but I have a hard time offering these same ideas to myself. I am hard on myself. I am my own worst enemy sometimes. Trying to live up to an unrealistic inhuman standard I set for myself long ago. Hey, I should start now, I am proud of myself for being able to identify the pattern I am in and give it life by acknowledging it's there and breathing into it to see what I need so I can sink deeper into my authentic self. I am also proud of myself because I recognize it's time to start offering myself the same grace and compassion that I offer others and to acknowledge I am a human and doing my best every day.

Carpe Diem- I pledge to myself to keep this mantra in the forefront of my mind. When I feel uneasy about what is happening around me, in my body, or mind, I am going to remind myself that the only thing I am in control of is my response to what is uncomfortable. I will let my invisible report card take a rest so I am not keeping track of all my faults, and I will offer myself the grace to learn and do differently next time. I am a perfectly capable but flawed human being. My expectation of me is to live a life that feels good, not one that looks perfect to everyone else.

by Kayla Myers, Family Peer Supporter

December 19, 2023

Spirituality has been my compass while I learned how to get back into the driver’s seat of my own life. I have always recognized in myself that I am a deep thinker and feeler, but it felt like a curse for a long time. I learned to dim my light within, not listen to my sense of self, and this caused me to sway away from my core values and beliefs. Through hardships, I found myself extremely distanced from my mind body, and soul.

Unfortunately, drugs took control of my dad’s life when I was a young girl, leaving my mom to raise two kids on her own. As a kid and into my early adolescents, I knew my dad not being involved in my life hurt me, but I was still hopeful for his recovery and had deep love for him even though he didn’t have that for himself. I know now, I stuffed that pain so far inside of me because I couldn’t feel or deal quite yet. I was only focused on what my mom, brother, and dad must been feeling or going through. All things must come to the light though and it eventually caught up with me when I became a mom myself. It hit me like a wrecking ball and then I was angry with him, for me. How could he let drugs become more important than the two beings he created and brought into this world? It was hurt, confused, angry, and at a loss.

My dad’s mom and dad have now passed on. They did the best job they knew how. with staying connected to my brother and I while we were growing up. Now that I am a mom myself, I now have insight on how painful that must have been to watch their son who was so full of life and love, just to watch drugs take all of that from him. Now I have grace in my heart for them and what that must have felt like. I have also reconnected with my dad in the past year, which I never thought would have happened. Now here is where divine timing and spirituality have become so loud in my life and now, I can’t stop trusting in it and myself.

When I found myself in a massive life change over three years ago, my mom said to me, “Your grandma Donna would be so proud of you and wouldn’t want you to take crap from anyone.” Those words stuck with me and almost became a force field surrounding me while I honestly felt like my strength was going to crumble out from under me at any point. A couple days later I saw a video and it was a tarot card reading that said, “A grandmother/mom/aunt is coming through and she has been watching over you. She is so proud of you and wants to remind you to keep standing in your strength. She wants to remind you to not take crap from anyone. She will always be watching over you but your strength with get you through this. You’ll know it’s her because she will come to you in the form of a butterfly.” My jaw about hit the ground and I got chills all over my body. I was at a kid’s birthday party a week later and it was about 102 degrees out. I was keeping an eye on my son, and I felt really disconnected from the world around me. Suddenly something hit my nose and caught my attention. It was a butterfly. It was almost like it got my attention on purpose and kept flying around me. Once again, I got chills and knew it was for me because one too many coincidences had now happened. After that, on my hardest days, I always see butterflies especially when I am disconnected from my present self. Whether it’s in real life or a picture, she always comes to remind me to keep going.

Fast forward, reconnecting with my dad has been very healing and came at a time where I was truly able to let him back in because I knew I trusted in myself again and that I would know how to navigate the journey. We have had very meaningful and deep conversations about life, and it has felt like I got a piece of myself back, that was lost for a very long time. This summer when we were floating on the river, I kept seeing an eagle. Not when I was looking for it, but it would just randomly be sitting in different places on the river and somehow catch my attention. After a couple times of seeing him/her, I was like “Ok spirit guides, what are you trying to tell me.” My dad has a beautiful soul, he’s hilarious, and full of life. Through my early conversations with him, he would say little positive lines to me, make me belly laugh, or he would tell me what his parents would tell him or say. One day he said, “Well your grandpa would always tell me, I am already insecure enough, so I’m not going to surround myself with people who make me feel more insecure about myself. I am an eagle; I am not going to let the seagulls bring me down.” This past summer, I told my dad about how I kept seeing the eagle on the river. He said your grandpa loved eagles and he told me the eagle not a seagull line again. That weekend we were floating on the river and for the first time all summer, I didn’t see the eagle. I got a call from my dad later that next week and he said, “Kayla, you are never going to believe what happened. I still have chills thinking about it.” I must preface this part that my dad is currently serving a long prison sentence due to his drug use. The prison is in the middle of nowhere, in the Nevada desert. He continues, “We finally got to go out in the yard, and I was walking the track. We never see animals out here. If anything, we see desert critters or seagulls. We were turning the corner and up on the light post was an eagle just sitting there staring at me. I have never seen anything like it out here and I stopped dead in my tracks, and I got so emotional. Thank you for sending him here to see me Kayla, I think he was reminding me that I have been acting like a seagull for far to long and its time to be an eagle.” The very next weekend not only was the eagle back, but he also had a companion with him. They were sitting in the same spot I spotted the first one.

Spirituality has given me the gift to trust in myself, the strength to be fully present, and subtle reminders that everything will work out just the way it is supposed too. I don’t need to have all the answers, all the time. It’s a practice of connecting within, to find the answers to guide me on the path that was designed for me. I can’t keep diming my own light, my diving time was calling, and now its time to trust in the process, and soar to new heights.

by Mandy Nunes, Assistant Director

July 4, 2023

Service work and volunteering hold a profound place in the hearts of individuals in substance use and mental health recovery. As someone who has embarked on a personal journey of recovery for the past 7.5 years, I have come to appreciate the transformative power of giving back. Though many people in substance use recovery will see service work and volunteering through the lens of 12-step programs, there is purpose and value in volunteering outside of the 12-step communities too, especially for those on a different recovery pathway.

1. Finding Purpose and Meaning:

When we are trapped in the depths of addiction or struggling with mental health challenges, it is common to feel lost and disconnected. Engaging in service work or volunteering provides a sense of purpose and meaning that transcends our personal struggles. Through helping others, we discover that our experiences, strengths, and vulnerabilities can be utilized to make a positive impact in someone else's life.

2. Building a Supportive Community:

One of the key aspects of recovery is the need for a supportive network. Service work and volunteering offer an opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals who understand the challenges of addiction and mental health. It creates a sense of belonging and cultivates relationships built on empathy, compassion, and shared experiences. Being surrounded by individuals who are committed to helping others reinforces our own recovery journey and provides an invaluable support system.

3. Enhancing Self-Esteem and Self-Worth:

Recovery often involves rebuilding our shattered sense of self. Engaging in service work allows us to witness our own capacity for making a difference. As we see the positive impact of our actions, our self-esteem and self-worth grow. Volunteering helps us recognize our inherent value and the potential we hold to contribute meaningfully to society. It reminds us that we are not defined by our past but by the choices we make in the present.

4. Developing New Skills and Abilities:

Service work presents a unique opportunity for personal growth. As we volunteer, we acquire new skills and refine existing ones. Whether it's developing effective communication, problem-solving, or leadership skills, each experience offers a chance to learn and grow. These skills not only enhance our ability to serve others but also become valuable assets in our personal and professional lives.

5. Gaining Perspective and Gratitude:

Engaging in service work allows us to step outside of our own challenges and gain perspective. Witnessing the struggles and triumphs of others reminds us of the progress we have made in our own recovery. It instills gratitude for the opportunities and support we have received along the way. Service work acts as a humbling reminder that we are not alone in our journey and that our experiences can be a source of inspiration and hope for others.

6. Breaking the Cycle of Stigma:

Substance use and mental health conditions are often stigmatized, leading to isolation and shame. Through service work, we become advocates for change, breaking the cycle of stigma by openly sharing our stories and educating others. By challenging stereotypes and promoting understanding, we contribute to a more compassionate and inclusive society.

7. Sustaining Long-Term Recovery:

Service work and volunteering may not be just a temporary commitment; it can become a lifelong practice. By continuously engaging in acts of service and volunteering, we reinforce the values and principles that underpin our recovery. It provides a sense of accountability and reminds us of the importance of giving back even as we maintain our own wellness.

Recovery happens via many pathways; no 2 journeys are exactly alike. Service work and volunteering may also vary. Here are some ways one can volunteer:

• Chairing a 12-step meeting
• Being on a board or committee
• Volunteer peer coaching work for an agency
• Joining an advocacy group
• Donating your time to help at a church function
• Helping a friend in recovery move
• Joining a consumer advisory council
• Volunteer mentoring
• Sharing your recovery story on a podcast or at an event
• Volunteering for the Red Cross or other humanitarian organizations
• Being a volunteer firefighter or EMT
• Babysitting for a friend so she can have some time for self-care
• Volunteering at an animal shelter.

Service work and volunteering hold immeasurable value for individuals in substance use and mental health recovery while also making a difference in the lives of others and our communities. Giving back has enriched my life as a woman in long-term recovery, and I hope you each find your own rewarding way to be of service.